Thick and Thin 

Nothing is more satisfying then knowing someone will support every single thing you choice to do. Nothing is more satisfying then knowing someone will tell you exactly how they they feel. Nothing is more satisfying then knowing someone will only ever give you selfless advice. Nothing is more satisfying then knowing someone loves you even with all your imperfections. Nothing is more satisfying then knowing someone will be there by your side through thick and thin. 

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Comfort

To all those people who feel comfortable in their own skin, to all those people who are happy with the person they are. You are so lucky.

Waking up every single day hating yourself is scary, I would like nothing more then to love myself. Hating yourself is mentally and physically draining. This voice in my head tells me Im worthless and it makes me sad Im so sad. I have so many people in my life but I still feel so incredibly lonely. I can no longer be alone because my thoughts drive me insane. You tell me I’m in control of my happiness but you don’t understand what it feels like to think you don’t deserve any kind of happiness. I pray and I’m finding comfort in my prayer, I desired this comfort, i just want to be happy.

I just want to be happy.

Mistakes 

I’m not the only person in this world who’s made mistakes. There are some mistakes I’ve made I try not to think about, those mistakes I cringe when I remember, these are the mistakes which had such an effect on my life it’s still lasting. I hate myself sometimes for ever wanting those things. 

As a person you grow and personally I’ve done more growing in the last year then I have done in my whole life, maybe this is because of people or situations or maybe it was just the realisation that I’m no longer a child. But I’ve grown I’m more accepting of certain things I’ve done, I repent and ask Allah for forgiveness because now that’s all I can do, and Allah forgives. I hope he forgives all the mistakes I made that now I’ve grown to regret, as much as I hope this, I made mistakes which I will pay for and am paying for. I really wish I had really thought about the things I’ve done because I don’t want people to feel the same way about their teen years as I do.

Adult life is here now and I guess I’m ready for the challenge. 

Connections

Often going through life we develop connections with different people, all connections different to each other.

Have you ever met someone and had this instant connection, over a short period of knowing one another you feel as if you’ve known this person for several years. Isn’t that just the most beautiful feeling, soon you become very close to this person and you cant remember life before they were part of it. You spend hours endlessly talking to each other and before you know it you suddenly want something more than friendship.

you fall in love

Beauty. 

Recently I’ve been wearing a headscarf more often im finding such beauty in it, I was unaware of the beauty a headscarf held. Dressing modestly can also hold its own beauty. Allah ordered us as muslims women to dress modestly, revealing your body is a sin and lately Im seeing why. 

Marry someone 

Marry someone who lets you have a bite of their brownie, even when you said you weren’t hungry. Marry someone who laughs at the same things you do. Marry someone who kisses your nose on a cold day. Marry someone who you can watch Disney movies with. Marry someone who is proud of you whether you earn £5 a week or £5,000 a week. Marry someone who you can tell everything to. Marry someone who isn’t afraid or embarrassed to hold your hand in public. Marry someone who lets you take over when decorating a cake. Marry someone who you can spend the day in Ikea with without feeling stressed. Marry someone who wraps you up inside their coat in the winter. Marry someone who accepts your fears and phobias. Marry someone who gives you butterflies every time you hear their key in the door. Marry someone who you don’t always have to shave your legs for. Marry someone who accepts you all day every day, even when you don’t look or feel your best. Marry someone who puts three sugars in your tea, despite telling them “just the two”. Marry someone who doesn’t judge you when you eat your body weight in cookies. Marry someone who doesn’t make you want to check your phone, because you know they will reply. Marry someone who waits with you to get on the train. Marry someone who understands that you need to be alone sometimes. Marry someone who gets on well with your parents and isn’t uptight about family events. Marry someone who calms you down when you get mad about stupid stuff, and never tells you it’s “only stupid stuff”. Marry someone who makes you want to be a better person. Marry someone who makes you laugh. Marry someone who you love. Marry your soulmate, your lover, your best friend.

Racism 

Racism is so ugly. 

What’s uglier is how many Muslims consider themselves as racially superior to others. 

Let us remember that this religion came to abolish this concept of racial superiority. 

RasulAllah Muhammad (saww) had companions and friends of every colour. This discrimination based on race is not welcome in his Sunnah.

loneliness 

You attempt to hide your loneliness in public, to behave, in fact, as though you have too many friends already, and thus you hope to attract people who will unwittingly save you. But it never works that way. Your condition is written all over your face, in the hunch of your shoulders, in the hollowness of your laugh. You fool no one.

Mixed up feelings

How do you know when someone loves you? Because I feel like you do, it’s scary I suppose, the impact you have on me. I care what you think and it’s scary I live to all most please you and that’s scary too, I wanna be the best me, I wanna be positive and a happier me for you for us. Is there even a us?